Reflect on Grief

The person you love is gone. The house that was once a home is now mere brick and mortar. Or perhaps you have lost the ability to walk, leaving you “handicapped” for life. One of the certainties in live is change, and odds are we will all face grief at some point in our lives. Fear not, because no matter how intense you are feelin right now, time does soften all wounds. And a life with joy and perspective is still out there yet.

Grief is not a template

People suffering from grief can display their feelings in many ways, ranging from anger to sadness, disbelieve or any other emotion. During grief and mourning there really is no cookie-cutter way to recover. It may take a lot of time to find acceptance in your new situation. You may cry every night for months on end. Or perhaps even feel a bit guilty that you don’t feel sad enough, that your emotions do not match the level of loss. The emotions you experience do not indicate the love you carried for the person, moment or ability you are grieving for.

Questions

Self-reflection can help you understand where you are in your mourning process. Try to track your mood every day and write down your activities and emotions. We also recommend answering reflective questions on grief. Here are a few questions to consider:

How has your perspective on life changed since your loss? Do you still see light at the end of the tunnel? Answer this question regularly. As you move towards acceptance, you may find that perspective in life reasserts itself.

What physical sensations have you noticed so far during your grief? Really sit down and notice what has happened in your body over the past few days. As days turn into weeks, your emotions may change. Remember that the exact emotion you are feeling should not be judged and is not an indicator of progress or loving-kindness towards yourself or the person you may have lost. Writing them down can provide clarity and be helpful to look back on your journey.

What unresolved feelings, if any, do you have? Explore lingering emotions and unfinished business that you may be carrying with you. By writing them down, you can spend time and energy consciously to find a way to resolve your feelings.

How has your relationship with others been affected by your grief? You may find that your relationships have been affected during your grief. Hopefully, friends and family around you are a great support group for you to express how you feel, unapologetically. If this is not the case, reflect on the people who may echo your hurt and hinder your healing process. Is there a way to take a bit more distance for a little while as you find solid footing?

Luci - Mood Tracker contains a topic on grief that includes many questions and tips on handling loss and finding a new perspective in life. Try to reflect regularly.

Take your time

At one point you may find that your house once again becomes a home. Acceptance replaces disbelief and we find new ways to move forward and enjoy what we have, such as the people that are still with us, or the abilities we still possess.

Grief is one of those unavoidable feelings we all, hopefully, get to experience during our lifetime. Hopefully, because experiencing grief also means we are around people we love and care very deeply about. Yes, grief means we have lost a bit of ourselves, but it also means we were able to give “a bit of us” to others.

Hopefully reflecting on your grief has enlightened your mentale state of mind and can help you on your journey towards the new you.

Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. Share your feelings, take your time and more importantly.. know that one day you will be alright again. Your journey does not stop here; a life full of love and joy and is out there, ready to be found.