Mind Reading - Cognitive Distortion

Mind reading is a mental shortcut where we assume what someone is thinking without having much information to go on. It’s a way to navigate the information-dense world and protect our feelings or empower our biases. Mind reading is common and often does not cause problems; in fact, it can sometimes help us. For example, if someone’s jaw drops, we might think they are in awe. However, mind reading can also have dangerous side effects, especially as it can strengthen other biases we have. Let’s go through some examples.

Common Examples

Imagine you are going out for lunch and find yourself alone in the cafeteria. Around you, a few couples flash a stare, and you start thinking, "Everyone must think I’m a loser for eating alone. They probably think I have no friends."

Or imagine you are late for work. As you walk in, you see the stares and start thinking, "They must question my professionalism. They must think I’m messy and unorganized." In both examples, you are projecting thoughts without really knowing what others are actually thinking about you, if they are thinking about you at all.

Impact on Your Health

Mind reading can impact our stress and anxiety levels. It may also cause social anxiety as we may start to act on our false beliefs. For example, a friend passes you on the street and fails to say hello. You may now think, "They must not like me anymore." As a result, your behavior might change towards your friend, while in reality, your friend was just lost in thought and did not see you walk by at all.

Correction

Luckily, we can filter unproductive mind reading from helpful mind reading by asking ourselves a few questions.

Identify the Mind Reading Thought

First, identify the mind reading thought you are having. Write down the thoughts you believe others are having about you. Next, answer these questions:

• What is this thought costing me?
• Is this thought benefiting me in any way?
• How likely is this thought to be true?
• Should and can I test if my thought is correct?

Example Answers

The cost of a thought might be that it is causing you stress and anxiety. However, you might also benefit from your mind reading because it supports your belief and lack of self-confidence. In a way, you are catastrophizing, assuming the worst will happen to protect yourself. On reflection, you realize that the thought is probably not true; it was based only on a quick glance by a complete stranger. Lastly, you conclude that you probably should not ask the stranger if they were actually thinking something because it doesn’t really change your day.

Concluding

Mind reading is common and often not really a problem, until you find your predictions becoming more frequent and significantly impacting your well-being. By applying these strategies, you can better manage the effects of mind reading and maintain a healthier mental state.